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Bedrest learning…

February 5, 2008

is intensive to say the least, in a laidback way.

No, I couldn’t resist.  Sharpening wry humor has become its own goal.  I’m still working on it.

Anyway, so that I can keep dodging my Husband’s piercing question, “What is God teaching you through all of this?” I thought I would comprise a top 10 list of some other things that I have learned, while on bedrest.

10.  Captain Crunch is still a comfort food from my childhood.  I have been crunchatized.

9.  Cats will seek the warmest spot on the bed with me for their daily 22 1/2 hours of sleep.  The warmest spot is usually on top of my legs, effectively pinning me to the same spot, since turning over is still a bit of an exercise in teeth clenching.

8.   A queen sized bed can somewhat comfortably hold me, two cats, a blanket, an afghan, a doubled over body pillow, a backrest pillow, a comfort foam pillow, two regular pillows, a bed table, my Bible, a legal pad, a history book, a novel, my calendar, my Bible study notes, a note pad, a Reader’s Digest, the mail, 3 pens, 1 pencil, a pack of gum, a bottle of water, some chick flick DVDs, a CD, and my laptop.  But that’s all.

7.  From my downstairs bedrest spot in the guest bedroom, I can still see the pine straw on the floor, just at the edge of the kitchen, to the right of the doorway, next to the dirty cloth napkin (also on the floor).  But no one else can see it.  Or the napkin.

6.  The boys are becoming great waiters, carrying plates and glasses, back and forth, from bed to kitchen.  Although they insist on being called Linguine.

5.  I’ve decided to write my own chick flick where the girl/guy falls for the guy/girl, there’s a conflict/natural disaster, a snarky roommate/best friend, and they live happily ever after the election/plane lands/volcano stops.  I think it’ll be a blockbuster.

4.  All the reading I’m supposed to be doing has been replaced by blogs, blogs, and blogs.

3.  Steroid packs make me crave chicken.

2.  I have a lot of good friends who make really good chicken dishes.

1.   My wry humor still needs sharpening.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. February 5, 2008 3:44 am

    Well, I’d say that defining the actual capacity of the queen-sized bed is a noteworthy accomplishment. Here I’ve been keeping my gum on my nightstand. Who knew?

    And now, courtesy of the Way Back Machine (that is, my brain, which knows all the words to DaDo Ron Ron, but does NOT know which of my children still has tonsils): I remember bedrest WITHOUT (dramatic pause)

    -laptop computers
    -DVD’s (VHS tapes take FOREVAH to rewind – I’m a busy woman!)
    -MP3 players (all those cassette tapes got VERY untidy)
    -The Home and Garden Network (our cable was a whopping 14 channels!)
    -lackeys named Linguini (it was my first pregnancy)

    Do feel better, friend, and know that I’m over here in the middle of the country praying for you.

  2. February 5, 2008 5:06 am

    Laughter is the best medicine. Yuck-yuck-yuck.

  3. February 5, 2008 2:35 pm

    Cloth napkins? I’m well impressed!

    May you know a quick recovery, not to mention an ever-sharpening sense of wry humor! 😉

  4. February 5, 2008 4:19 pm

    Sounds like what you need is another pillow.

    Funny, funny post. It’s always enlightening to see what God will teach us during the times when we’re down.

  5. February 5, 2008 4:30 pm

    You may be laid up in bed, but there’s NOTHING wrong with your sense of humor. No sharpening required.

    But I have to ask – WHAT is that film on the roof of your mouth after eating Captain Crunch? It’s just not normal.

  6. Ellen permalink
    February 5, 2008 6:46 pm

    Still funny after all those pills…
    I hope you mend quickly and well and that you can be up and about soon. Isn’t it funny what a mom’s eye sees that no one else’s seems to!?
    Hey I’d love to be able to bring you over a red meat dish if I lived closer. Do you eat red meat?
    God bless you dearly through your confinement! 🙂

  7. February 6, 2008 3:09 am

    OK, I have a queen sized bed and all I have to say is: How high are you piling stuff? I’m not sure I could fit that much on my bed!

    Glad you have sons, cats, technology and the Lord to keep you company!

  8. February 6, 2008 3:54 am

    Oh girl – you DO have such a good sense of humor.

    I can’t eat Captain Crunch. It scratches up the roof of my mouth. I guess I am sensitive like that.

    You could totally write a chick flick. I’d watch it! Sounds to me like you have the formula down pat.

    More prayers for continued healing . . . as well as wisdom and insight for your endeavors in the meantime.

  9. February 6, 2008 4:08 am

    Well, I’m glad you’re keeping yourself entertained, and thanks for entertaining us in the process. You’re a hoot, Elle!
    I’m glad you have a troop of young helpers to do your bidding and friends to bring good food. Take care of yourself, and resist the urge to tidy up!


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