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Everything is sticky…

April 5, 2007

in my kitchen these days.  All the knobs in my kitchen are sticky–really sticky.  I’ve all ready told you about the state of the kitchen floor.  It’s both smeary and sticky.

The refrigerator door has grape jelly on its handle.  The silverware drawer pull is tacky on one side and gooey sticky on the other.  Even the light switches feel a little smuckery.

I’ve established some firm conclusions about why all these things are sticky.  I believe that there is a conspiracy among the little people who happen to live with me.  After some secret investigating on my part, I’ve become convinced that these very rascals are seriously about the business of sticky-ing things up.

While I’m not exactly clear on their preferred method, some speculation has led me to believe that they are pilfering q-tips from the bathroom–as I can never find the q-tips in there, and I know they’re not cleaning their ears with them.  They must be taking these pilfered q-tips and dipping them into various sticky substances occasionally found around the house, sometimes even in the kitchen.  Things such as peanut butter, jelly, honey, and maybe even the mayo are possible sticky supply items. 

While the next few details are a bit fuzzy, I think what happens next is the older two take turns with the younger one to sneak down to the kitchen and stealthily apply their sticky residue to all of the kitchen knobs, drawer pulls, handles and light switches.  Considering the current demanding feeding schedule these growing shoots are on of eating every two hours, after the prep time and clean up, the unsubs only have about 34 minutes in the kitchen alone to accomplish the crime.  Elaborate questions or created upstairs disasters are used to distract me, granting those 34 minutes in which to do the deed.  Really quite ingenious, don’t you think?

I know, I know, you probably think that I’m speculating here.  But after examining the situation and knowing that every. time. I. am. in. the. kitchen. I am wiping off the sticky, and being fully assured by those bless-my-heart faces that they DO thoroughly wash their hands with water AND soap before even entering the kitchen…

It’s pretty clear to me that it must be jellied q-tips.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. April 5, 2007 10:30 am

    Check their beds, because I think they’re sneaking over to my house in the middle of the night.

  2. April 5, 2007 3:33 pm

    You may have something there!

    What you need is: Clorox Disinfecting Wipes! Hand them out to all offenders and make them wipe all the little handles in the entire house. Even the tiniest of offenders is capable of contributing!

  3. April 5, 2007 6:25 pm

    Personally, I think you’re probably distracted by looking for all the socks that are continually missing from the laundry. Searching out the socks keeps you from seeing those little ones in their oh-so-clever stickying plot. The beauty of it? When you’re cleaning up the stickyness — they’re hiding the socks.

  4. April 6, 2007 9:38 am

    We’re breaking up this conspiracy, I’m sure. Mine apply the stickiness to the piano keys and computer keyboards as well, then they hide the socks, then they hide the Clorox Wipes too! Perhaps we should set up hidden cameras…

  5. April 6, 2007 1:05 pm

    Just as I suspected, it is in fact a vast conspiracy involving missing socks, missing q tips, sticky door handles, and dirtying up every. single. cup. in. the. cabinet. We are victims, ladies! 😉

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